Hello blackWorm and X and Pat and broomhead
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Hello C, X, and S, rather than just sitting around and thinking stupid stuff up as it might appear, I spent this past week:
Listening to the scream of a pineapple as I shoved it down the kitchen sink drain.
Almost cracking a hole in the earth's crust by tuning my house.
Seeing the greatest movie ever made.
First the movie, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring Again." I saw it with a Korean chick who happens to be a teacher of mine and it was a Korean movie so I got to ask stuff like, "What do all those funny letters mean?" Great movie.
On to the friggin pineapple screaming in pain. I have never felt so gadzooks-egad-geronimo-eureka-foul-neato-yuk-eek-hmm-maybe-I-am-crazy-it's-alive-I-think-I'm-gonna-be-sick.
I was using a garlic knife (feeding fresh garlic cloves, strawberries, bananna, and other fruits with acid in order of their acidity)down the kitchen sink drain, to clean it out.
When I got the pineapple half way down the drain I heard a funny noise coming from a tape recorder that had run out of battery juice. The tape in the machine was of a distorted guitar with ultra loosened strings and the pineapple dieing started the tape playing just enought for it to sound like a person screaming in pain. When I experimentally touch the pineapple fronds it responds as if someone is manipulating its vocal chords forcibly. Gross. But I found corroboration on the Internet. Som Police lie detector guy spen his carreer hooking the lie detector up to plants and listening to them scream as he submerged live shrimp in boiling water in the next room.
I nearly tore a hole in the earth's crust. The pineapple night grew into an extended experiment when I tried to turn everything in my house into an antena of some kind or another, color, electricity, mass, well I guess color is electricity, so it was either electricity or mass. Isn't that funny, thats all there is -- electricity and mass. Sound is the vibration of mass and color is the vibration of electricity, and they meet in radios -- neato. And chirality (left and right handedness) seems to figure into the mixture liberally.
So I rigged up my weight bench with springs and weights and connected that to long PVC tubes acting as vibrating air chambers using open windows, fans and radios as sound sources, and had the radios interfere with the pineapple screaming tape and had a magnetically suspended globe toy hooked up so that it would rotate acording to how I suspended electronic equipment around it. I set up my basement as one big interconnected gravity-em antenna. Shana you would have loved it. I could hear gravity waves... I think. I think the cicadas played a part in the soundscape that night too. (I think cicadas must be plants masquerading as bugs. They line up back to back just like a seed pod when they mate. When the cicadas are in full bloom here, all sounds sound longer and have more sustain. When a bus passes by it sounds as if the vibration is going to start recursively feeding back on itself an cause an earthquake. Anyway at one point it got out of control and I felt the whole house and block (it felt like) start to shake and I had to run tear down all the gravity antenas.
Even better, I dedided there must be deuterium in my doodads. And I know this sounds like I should get the schizophrenic of the year award ( OK I wouldn't turn it down) but... I live directly down stream from the site of a WWI and WWII era "chemical" war lab at American University that has just got a lot of press in the last couple of years for leaking. My house is right down stream from there and I figure I must be collecting heavy water and periodically releasing it every time the chirality of all the hairs on my body changes once. And so the "Pat-bomb" would be to hold the world hostage and say something to the effect of, "If I don't get world peace by the end of the year, I am going to save up an extra large wad of deuterium by artifically keeping all my body hairs at the same chirality (with a comb) and then release it so that it tunnells right down to the core of the earth and we have a big Pat-explosion... or would that not work? I guess I haven't gotten much further than the heavy watter knifing its way like as much garlic and pinapple puree down towards the center of the earth. I'm not sure what would happen if heavy water hit the core of the earth. Maybe not much. But who cares what would really happen, we would achieve world peace in the process. And so I turn another page and crowbar my fat ass off the humidity-fortified vinal of my computer chair to slouch off toward my posture-pedic and the sweet bliss of sleep.
Ben
Monday, June 14, 2004
Do you mean self-absorbed like this doode?
Hey Shana, do you know about that double slit experiment that some guy says proves there are other universes? He says something like that you get 5 bright spots where you should get 4 and this proves that there is a land of make believe. Did you hear about that?
Patrick
