Hello blackWorm and X and Pat and broomhead
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
OK this is sort of gross but I guess I have to go ahead and let the world know... don't you hate it when you make a paradigm shattering discovery and there's an intimate part of it that is really embarassing and you can't tell about the discovery without the embarassing part?
So I was thinking about combs and scissors, because an artist friend of mine was making a sign for a barber, with combs and scissors on it, and I was thinking about all the various kinds of combs and scissors there were and how all tools are either combs or scissors, sort of... and I started thinking about this silicone floppy worm squishy ball I have that has half of its floppy worms coloerd purple and half colored green and I thought that would be a fine comb -- especially if you wanted to knit something -- I guess I mean more of a loom than a comb -- or I guess a loom has a comb in it -- so I decided to see what I could knit by making both my hands into floppy claws and combing them alternately through the floppy worm ball in swirly motions. It was a really soothing motion and I got to thinking about what kind of substance would stick together well enough to maintain integrity over the amount of stretchyness it would take to make one weave with the worm ball, and I decided human sperm would be a great thing to start off with, and seeing as there were not too many other humans hanging around my room I decided to use my own human sperm. So after I started off the worm ball with that ingredient I added some other stuff that I can't remember right now and I started walking around the neighborhood kneading the wormball and listening to the cicadas, and at one point the worm ball started to act funny and all of the sudden something snapped like a rubber band and a big chunk of what looked like tangled audio tape rolled together in the shape of a camel cricket fell off the worm ball and broke into about 3 different sized camel crickets and skittered, or more like it ran, out into the street. Now this is where it gets weird. I could swear to god the confused crackelling sound it emits as it skitters out into the street of its own volition is like a human scream - a lot like the sound that the pineapple was making when I was trying to shove it down the drain. So I freak out of course, and I run home thinking I have just set something in motion that I will never be able to stop, but as of two or three weeks later there are no camel cricket monsters taking over washington DC. But still, I think I may have kneaded one sperm ball too many, or as they say in sperm ball kneading country, I am two sperm balls to the wind, I have sperm balls in my bellfry, or something like that. Well maybe that is how people will make babies in the future, with a 3D loom. Or maybe I'm two sperm balls to the wind.
